It's been quite a journey for Barnaby Black.  It started a long time ago and I was a very different person.  Eager to take on the world in a sense...in a positive way.  I had all these ideas.  My creativity and vision was boundless and I had some kind of direction.  At least I thought I did.  When I look back on it I can't believe where it has gone and what it has become.  Most companies just go away eventually.  Most small businesses don't make the cut.  I suppose I one of the lucky ones.

I'm not going to get all sentimental about the past and all the adventures I had creating this company, all the ups and downs,  all the nights waking up frantic because I have no money in the bank, not sleeping for the same reason.  I won't get into the evolution od Barnaby Black either.  I will say it started as a concept with a long story.  It started as a clothing company and more specifically a graphic tee company but it changed when I met certain people.  People who are dear friends today.  It turned into a monster.  One that got out of control pretty quickly.  When I had had enough of that monster using up all the money I made some changes.  On that day, it was my wife who told me to make soap because she thought I'd like doing it because it was like cooking.  Well I did and Barnaby Black the soap maker, the candle maker, the purveyor of fine skin care and home goods, was born but it didn't end there.  Soon I found I couldn't get exactly what I wanted from this plan.  I wanted to make smells from pine trees.  Specifically pitch pines from the Pine Barrens here on Long Island where the company was born.  I wanted to capture that in a bottle.  That's when I found a company called Juniper Ridge.  From here it was a competition.  Not with that awesome company but with myself.  My creative self.  The person in me that thirsts for knowledge.  I became a distiller of essential oils.  I became a naturalist.  I was hunting plants and trees in the wild that I had never heard of and I was cataloging them.  I had my field guides in hand...looking for Atlantic White Cedars, spruce trees, bee balm, cornmint, yarrow, foxtail pine, piñon pine, sagebrush.  I learned these plants and I found them out there in the wild and it was glorious.  Soon I became friends with a man named Hall Newbegin, the founder of Juniper Ridge.  We were not super close but we hiked in California and talked alot about nature and the business and we shared our secrets with each other.   We decided we were the only two guys dumb enough to do what we were doing when we could have made things much much easier for ourselves.  We wanted the pain.  More so the connection to nature.  That was the juice.

Cut to today.  I'm 50 this month.  I look back.  Hall had died a few years ago and it still haunts me.  That part of my endeavor died as well.  I thought maybe I should keep going in honor and memory of a guy who inspired me so much but also the fun stopped.  There was a void for me and I'm still not sure why.  I realized things clearly though.  Barnaby Black was influenced by Hall in that I was challenged.  The path veered and here I am.  Not exactly what I thought Barnaby would be but that is the best part of life...the mystery and twists and turns...the slow evolution and the surprise.  But....you must ask yourself every so often..."What have I become?"

When I started the distilling part of this biz I was out in the woods.  Knee deep in mud.  I was out there alone sometimes.  I've been stuck thigh deep in a swamp and thought I would never get out.  I've been approached by strange people and even some angry Narragansett Indians because I was on their preserve and very unwelcomed.  I've found dismembered bodies in plastic bags and I've seen wild animals.  My point is that I was dirty a lot.  I worked for this "nature in a bottle" concept.  Now...not so much.  The business became a business and most of my time is spent fulfilling orders.  Amazing!!!  I work with other distillers that make some of the oils I use now and run the still only a few times a year.  Still though...I get to work with like minded people that love nature and I connect to the deserts and Pacific northwest because I can't get out there much these days.  

What has become of Barnaby Black isn't a bad thing.  It's just not what I had started off to do.  It's not really, truly, deeply what I intended.  If you own your own business you know that, at some point, it becomes it's own thing and sometimes it runs away from you.  Don't get me wrong it's not that far off from my dream but as I mentioned before it became something I was chasing more than something I was controlling.  I was having fun learning and teaching and hanging out with cool dudes who wore cool clothes and made cool products.  In the end BB became that kind of thing.  Keeping up with the Jones' kind of...you know?  It wasn't made for hikers and people who stunk of campfire and field workers who busted their assholes on the farm or real, regular folk just enjoying summer in their backyards which is who I made my products for.  It became a brand that needed to be placed on the perfect shelf, in the right way and in the hippest of shops.  It was in that realm of having to be hip to fit in.  I saw that it could potentially be something that was a fad, used up by hipsters, when all I wanted it to be was real and functional and the connective tissue between you (the individual) and nature (the real essence of what was in my bottles).  I never cared about being cool.  Or fitting in or trying to sell the stuff.  I wanted to share with the world my knowledge of nature.  Of trees and plants.  That's it.  I get poison ivy so I made the Demon Weed Poison Ivy Clay with wild jewel weed because jewel weed is known to help soothe the rash.  I get eaten alive by mosquitos and ticks so I made a line of bug repellants.  I love the Fire Island Lighthouse so I designed a t-shirt.  That's really all this thing is for me.  That it sells and is on those perfect shelves is wonderful and I couldn't be more happy about that and couldn't thank all the shops who take the chance on my stuff enough.  I'm in a good place and it has been growing.  Slowly but I'll take a 6000 year old bristlecone pine that has stood the test of time and weather over and invasive weed that withers in the hot sun.

I'm no business man.  I run on passion and enthusiasm and daily sparks.  I'm 50 now.  Barnaby Black is many things.  It wears many hats.  I'm grateful for all the people who have purchased my products and keep on doing it.  I'm happy that I get to do this thing I created from thin air.  I don't know if it will be around forever.  It's a struggle to keep up in these modern climates but creativity is all I have (my family mostly but creativity).  My love of nature fueled that vision and I bring things to the table in the shape of what you see on this site.  Here I am with a company that changed me for the better.  Here I am letting it take me away.  Here I am wondering what it has become and who I have become.  The years have gotten away from me.  Now I'm going to take it back.  Nurture it again.  Clip the branches back and feed the roots.  Remember why I started the whole crazy deal.

Here I am at 50 and I'm standing before the road not taken.  At least not by me.  This is a long road before me but I can see the terrain, the terroir and I can visualize my footsteps in the terra firma because I know the land and I'm not afraid of it.  Call it wisdom.  Things are about to get weird.  I'm not holding back anymore.  I'm saying goodbye to things and hello to others.  So buy the ticket and take the ride.

NOTE: a little insight on the photos.  Myself and Matt Gorton, a dear friend and creative collaborator of mine have worked together for many years.  He has shot many a photo for me.  This one has been in the sieve for nearly 20 yrs now.  A simple shot of me in the muck like I used to get into it.  Out there in the woods doing what I do.  It took along time but it was worth the wait.